how to play a racing game
- HIT EVERYONE OUT OF THE WAY
- GO FAST
- NEVER USE BRAKES
accidentally going to the next song while youre in the middle of a good song
you know what’s fucking worse than NO pockets?
fucking FAKE POCKETS
THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT
one time i bought a coat and i thought it had pockets but they were fake and then one day a hole ripped in the seam and i discovered there were fully made perfectly good pockets that had been sewn closed for no reason
Rachel: I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
“I wonder if there’s porn of-“
i can’t believe this, i thought what we had was special. you met my family and made me dinner. now all of a sudden you claim you’re a “waiter” and you’re just “doing your job”
when someone tries to explain how to do something and all you hear is
she wears short skirts i wear the same pair of jeans every day
*standing at the wedding alter*
spouse: i do