World's best procrastinator at your service

how to play a racing game

HIT EVERYONE OUT OF THE WAY

GO FAST

NEVER USE BRAKES

accidentally going to the next song while youre in the middle of a good song

starfish-are-stickers:

you know what’s fucking worse than NO pockets?

fucking FAKE POCKETS

THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT

one time i bought a coat and i thought it had pockets but they were fake and then one day a hole ripped in the seam and i discovered there were fully made perfectly good pockets that had been sewn closed for no reason

Rachel: I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.

(Source: iamnevertheone)

holyshitsouthpark:

“I wonder if there’s porn of-“

there is

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

irrevocablysherlocked:

Goddammit Quinto you and your vocabulary battle bullshit (x)

In which the actors are their characters.

(Source: cisquas)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

i can’t believe this, i thought what we had was special. you met my family and made me dinner. now all of a sudden you claim you’re a “waiter” and you’re just “doing your job”

apogeesystem:

when someone tries to explain how to do something and all you hear is

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

she wears short skirts i wear the same pair of jeans every day

psyducker:

*standing at the wedding alter*

spouse: i do

me: same